Funeral for a Planet

JPL’s Varoujan Gorjian (BS ’92), who works on the Spitzer Space Telescope team, cut quite a figure as the red planet.

Their heads hung low, accompanied by black-clad mourners and a jazz band, eight planets marched in a New Orleans–style funeral procession for Pluto in the 30th annual Pasadena Doo Dah Parade. They were joined by more than 1,500 parade participants, among which were the Marching Lumberjacks, guru Yogi Ramesh, Raelian devotees, the Zorthian nymph snake sisters, and the Men of Leisure and Their Synchronized Napping Team, who stopped every now and then to recline. Marching Lumberjack Karolyn Wyneken, who drove 700 miles from Humboldt County for the event, exclaimed, “Wow, that is awesome! That is so good, and necessary,” upon seeing the open casket with its papier-mâché Pluto.

One of the mourners, Caltech Image Processing and Analysis Center staff engineer Kaly Rengarajan, saw the event as a way to educate the public. “The very idea of Pluto being demoted is so exciting. We’re trying to refine what we knew before. I’m so glad people are being made aware!” she raved.

Saturn, played by JPL postdoc Angelle Tanner and accompanied by her many rings, organized the march and voiced the sentiments of most of her fellow planets when she noted, “Most astronomers don’t think Pluto should be a planet, but we all miss it.” Some planets, however, felt strong-armed into participation—as trumpet-playing Earth (Samantha Lawler, BS ’05) noted, Saturn was “writing my recommendation letters.”

Uranus (astronomy postdoc Nicholas Law) seemed to bear a grudge, sporting a T-shirt that proclaimed, “Pluto had it coming.” And mourner Zane Crawford, a JPL visiting graduate student from the University of Colorado who drummed the funeral march, didn’t hide his contempt. “Pluto did have it coming, seriously,” he said.

Saturn helps a tardy Mercury with his wings.

Ironically, Mercury (JPL postdoc Joe Carson), winged messenger to the gods, was late. But when he showed up, he was all sympathy, perhaps because now he is the smallest planet in the solar system and fears his turn is next. After all, Mercury is only about twice the size of Pluto. “To be honest, I felt bad for Pluto,” he said about the planetary excommunication. “My little cousin started crying when she found out Pluto got demoted.”

Even Caltech Professor of Planetary Astronomy Mike Brown showed up, and brought along his daughter Lilah to play the fledgling Eris. “The dwarf planet was originally supposed to be named after her, so it’s appropriate,” said Brown. No cosmic scuffles arose, and everyone strove to maintain peace, for Pluto’s sake. While some memorial services were held in Washington, D.C., days after Pluto’s ejection from planetary circles on August 24, 2006, none came close to this procession. Thirty thousand onlookers gathered in the balmy weather under clear skies. And the planets were all in alignment. —EN